I tried too hard, I went too far
I lived my life and took its fall
I had to smile and had to laugh
I strived to hide and I was lost
Guess we all have tried to live life, and I am talking literally. We all go about living our lives for the sake of living, doing what we are supposed to do - not what we want to, living life as it comes...
As it is said- Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Lets start afresh, lets start anew. Its never too late....
Guys I am writing a book and here is its preface. I hope you like it. Do comment pls..
New Delhi
6th January, 2010
I pulled over my jacket and wore a woollen cap. I was already 15 minutes late. “Ma, I’m going outside, Will be back in an hour or so”, I shouted running outside. Ma replied just in time as I kick-started my 10-year old hero-honda bike, “Beta, come back before your dad arrives." I ignored her as I shifted gears and sped upon, cursing my bad luck for having such an old bike. Even my doodh-wala had a better one than me. The gate-keeper saluted as I crossed the superannuated gate of our dilapidated society. I took a left turn and reached Parsi-chowk. I glanced an eye on my petrol- indicator to make sure it had enough gas. The needle of my petrol indicator was somewhere near middle. Still I felt rather uneasy. I knew I was not mentally prepared for today.
But I had to leave all my worries behind. I was on a mission today. I knew Raj would be waiting for me at our usual tapra (meeting –place) at MG intersection, near our college. He was always punctual about time. As I sped on my bike, cold air of January rushed inside my helmet. It was almost freezing point outside. Roads were almost deserted, except for some couples who stood at one side of the road, each couple equally spaced with each other. I wondered whether they had co-ordinated their meeting points with each other. We usually referred to that side of the road as the ‘lover’s point’. I ignored them. My hands were near freezing as cold air slapped hard on them. I decided it was wiser to stick to just one gear during the entire journey. I kept one of my hands inside the pocket of my jacket. I checked to make sure the pistol which I had stolen from my uncle’s house while visiting him two days ago was still there. Since he leaved for his business trip to Ajmer that day, I knew he wouldn’t find it early. But I had to return it in 4 days to be safe. Therefore we decided to finish our job today itself. In the evening while keeping it in my pocket, I had made sure that the pistol was fully loaded. I did not know how to use it but Raj had assured me that he knew it. I prayed to God that Raj will not change his decision and everything will work according to our plan. I wanted it to be over soon.
Looking in the side mirror, I wondered where I had come in my life- from a school topper to college back-bencher, from being a regular temple visitor to being a regular gym visitor, from being teetotal to a compulsive drinker… But I realized I give a damn to it. To hell with this world and to hell with education. I would someday make a place in this world for my own. I would someday carve my own way.
Shit. I was getting late. I increased my speed and took a sharp turn left as I almost reached my destination. I saw Raj’s bike standing there and thanked God. I somehow knew that our plan was fool-proof. I had carefully prepared every intricate detail in the past few days. Hell, I had thought of everything which could go wrong and all possible circumstances. But I should have been prepared for the worse….
